For years now I have proudly taken something I am knitting and literally shoved it into Paul´s face hoping to hear words of approval. Every new skill whether it was knitting food, lace knitting, Fair Isle, it all was displayed for him to see and was received with very supportive responses from him. And to his credit I always, always get something like: ¨Nice,¨ or ¨Well done,¨ or ¨Looks lovely to me.¨
The other night, late into the evening I finished something, put it down to go to bed and then retrieved it as I realized Paul was still reading in bed. In light so dim even I could barely recognized what I was holding there it was again, that sleepy approval of ¨Nice job.¨ It was then I realized he could not possibly see what I showed him and had probably been doing this for years perhaps feigning appreciation for my skills. For a split second I was upset, no more like disappointed, until it occurred to me he was being a wonderful partner and not really offering a critique of what was being shown to him. How lucky am I; he is being thoughtful, supportive and nonjudgmental about something I find so intriguing, something he knows absolutely nothing about.
This became clearer to me as we had a long discussion the other evening about this phrase: Sic semper tyrannis! Latin for Ever thus to tyrants! This is what John Wilkes Booth shouted just before he shot Lincoln. The phrase was used as a clue in a television show we were watching. I didn´t know what was said much less what it meant or who to attribute it to, so I asked. Not only did Paul know what the phrase meant, he linked it to John Wilkes Booth and also Julius Caesar´s assassination without looking it up. (It is like having my own personal live Wikipedia without having to click keys.) The question launched Paul into a discussion about Latin (something he studied in high school) and how the phrase was not only mistranslated on the show but also mispronounced. There was discussion about why they had left the ¨to¨ out of their translation and why tyrannis should be pronounced ty ran´ nis rather than ty´ ran nis with other stuff I didn´t quite understand. In the end, I politely thanked him for that information and ignored most of the discussion altogether because it was way beyond me. But in the end I understood why it was so important to know what the phrase meant to the plot of the television show. Like Paul, I was being supportive even though I knew absolutely nothing about the topic and as such could not constructively contribute to the conversation.
Then it hit me, I had just done to him what he more than likely does to me each time I proudly show off my knitting. As he was proudly showing off his knowledge of Latin I was supportively doing la la la silently in my head because nothing was making sense to me. How can I possibly criticize him for something I do just as frequently in other areas of our conversations. Come on Jan, just give the guy a break.
Note to self -- Paul is as interested in my knitting skills as I am in his skills with Latin. Just remain kind and supportive and remember there is no knitting worth showing him as he is falling asleep.
The other night, late into the evening I finished something, put it down to go to bed and then retrieved it as I realized Paul was still reading in bed. In light so dim even I could barely recognized what I was holding there it was again, that sleepy approval of ¨Nice job.¨ It was then I realized he could not possibly see what I showed him and had probably been doing this for years perhaps feigning appreciation for my skills. For a split second I was upset, no more like disappointed, until it occurred to me he was being a wonderful partner and not really offering a critique of what was being shown to him. How lucky am I; he is being thoughtful, supportive and nonjudgmental about something I find so intriguing, something he knows absolutely nothing about.
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| Image from the Lusty Vegan |
This became clearer to me as we had a long discussion the other evening about this phrase: Sic semper tyrannis! Latin for Ever thus to tyrants! This is what John Wilkes Booth shouted just before he shot Lincoln. The phrase was used as a clue in a television show we were watching. I didn´t know what was said much less what it meant or who to attribute it to, so I asked. Not only did Paul know what the phrase meant, he linked it to John Wilkes Booth and also Julius Caesar´s assassination without looking it up. (It is like having my own personal live Wikipedia without having to click keys.) The question launched Paul into a discussion about Latin (something he studied in high school) and how the phrase was not only mistranslated on the show but also mispronounced. There was discussion about why they had left the ¨to¨ out of their translation and why tyrannis should be pronounced ty ran´ nis rather than ty´ ran nis with other stuff I didn´t quite understand. In the end, I politely thanked him for that information and ignored most of the discussion altogether because it was way beyond me. But in the end I understood why it was so important to know what the phrase meant to the plot of the television show. Like Paul, I was being supportive even though I knew absolutely nothing about the topic and as such could not constructively contribute to the conversation.
Then it hit me, I had just done to him what he more than likely does to me each time I proudly show off my knitting. As he was proudly showing off his knowledge of Latin I was supportively doing la la la silently in my head because nothing was making sense to me. How can I possibly criticize him for something I do just as frequently in other areas of our conversations. Come on Jan, just give the guy a break.
Note to self -- Paul is as interested in my knitting skills as I am in his skills with Latin. Just remain kind and supportive and remember there is no knitting worth showing him as he is falling asleep.
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