Knitting and raising children have certain similarities. You invest hours of time putting together stitches or putting together activities/meals/situations (aka life) for children and hope that the end results work out in both cases. The photo of M above reminded me that son and daughter-in-law are starting this journey with her. (Doesn't she look happy, well fed and cared for, or am I just being a grandma again?) The dynamic is you just don't know whether what you do at her age, or for the next 18 years or so, for that matter, will work out as you had thought it should, could or would.
When one knits there is a lot of hopefulness, anxiety (am I doing the right thing?) and stress. Additionally, there's a certain amount of decision-making, where it is hard to tell if what you are doing is going to work out or not. Questions like this pop up: Should I change this colour, rip out this patch that doesn't quite satisfy, or look for a different use for this yarn? When knitting these decisions are all low stakes. So what if something you make doesn't get finished or does get finished, but not worn. In the greater scheme of things it doesn't matter.
However, when raising a child the stakes are quite different. Of course there remains the hopefulness, anxiety, stress but also all the high stakes decision-making. What type of discipline to use, what type of food to prepare, what type of activities to encourage, and how to adjust any and all of these should they run off the rails. In addition there are all the years of waiting to see how things will work out (rarely does a knitting project take years of commitment). Unlike knitting you do care about finishing the task and that the person you are helping to shape does fit into whatever part of society s/he wants to live in.
.JPG)
And then out of the blue you get a photo like this with the following message from an adult son : I made an apple pannekuchen today. Really brought back memories. Remember when we used to go to that restaurant. Comfort food from childhood.
This touched me deeply first because of its pure simplicity, second because I had no idea he even remembered this experience much less put this type of weight on it and third that he took the time to share it with me and his brother. Let me offer a bit of background.
I loved the restaurant chain called Pannekuchen back in the day. I couldn't find it today as I wrote this so I don't know if the chain still exists or not. I'd drag the entire family to the one a 4 1/2 hour drive away from home anytime we were in the vicinity because I so enjoyed these German-style pancakes. I also learned to make them at home using our own home-grown and canned apples because the trips to get the delicacy were far too few.
I had no idea my son considered this dish a comfort food from his childhood. At the time I was merely pursuing a food craving I had, but it appears inadvertently I also created something special, at least for him. You just never know.
So child raising just like in knitting, sometimes you find what you are creating can be a mystery to you, the creator. (There are times I simply follow knitting instructions and have an ah ha moment after the fact because I couldn't picture the end results during the process, even with photographs.) What in adulthood seems special or important to a grown child, might have only been something slight to you as the parent. You just never know.
Keep that in mind new parents of M, as I know you do. Anything and everything you do for her from hereon in, can be precious to that little being you are nurturing. You just never know what's important to her and might have to wait decades to find out.
When one knits there is a lot of hopefulness, anxiety (am I doing the right thing?) and stress. Additionally, there's a certain amount of decision-making, where it is hard to tell if what you are doing is going to work out or not. Questions like this pop up: Should I change this colour, rip out this patch that doesn't quite satisfy, or look for a different use for this yarn? When knitting these decisions are all low stakes. So what if something you make doesn't get finished or does get finished, but not worn. In the greater scheme of things it doesn't matter.
However, when raising a child the stakes are quite different. Of course there remains the hopefulness, anxiety, stress but also all the high stakes decision-making. What type of discipline to use, what type of food to prepare, what type of activities to encourage, and how to adjust any and all of these should they run off the rails. In addition there are all the years of waiting to see how things will work out (rarely does a knitting project take years of commitment). Unlike knitting you do care about finishing the task and that the person you are helping to shape does fit into whatever part of society s/he wants to live in.
And then out of the blue you get a photo like this with the following message from an adult son : I made an apple pannekuchen today. Really brought back memories. Remember when we used to go to that restaurant. Comfort food from childhood.
This touched me deeply first because of its pure simplicity, second because I had no idea he even remembered this experience much less put this type of weight on it and third that he took the time to share it with me and his brother. Let me offer a bit of background.
I loved the restaurant chain called Pannekuchen back in the day. I couldn't find it today as I wrote this so I don't know if the chain still exists or not. I'd drag the entire family to the one a 4 1/2 hour drive away from home anytime we were in the vicinity because I so enjoyed these German-style pancakes. I also learned to make them at home using our own home-grown and canned apples because the trips to get the delicacy were far too few.
I had no idea my son considered this dish a comfort food from his childhood. At the time I was merely pursuing a food craving I had, but it appears inadvertently I also created something special, at least for him. You just never know.
So child raising just like in knitting, sometimes you find what you are creating can be a mystery to you, the creator. (There are times I simply follow knitting instructions and have an ah ha moment after the fact because I couldn't picture the end results during the process, even with photographs.) What in adulthood seems special or important to a grown child, might have only been something slight to you as the parent. You just never know.
Keep that in mind new parents of M, as I know you do. Anything and everything you do for her from hereon in, can be precious to that little being you are nurturing. You just never know what's important to her and might have to wait decades to find out.
Comments
Post a Comment